Monday, 30 December 2013

And A Happy New Year

Celebrated Herald Sun psychic The Great and Mysterious Tim Blair strikes again. Of his master list of 2014 predictions, these were among my favourites:

An international oil conglomerate led by the French Total company secures drilling rights to independent senator Nick Xenophon’s hair.

A Twitter conflict between British CNN host Piers Morgan and Australian lawn bowls enthusiast Neville Clayton results in Morgan facing six deliveries from the 72-year-old at Sydney’s Camperdown Bowling and Recreation Park. Morgan suffers only slight cuts and bruises.

After being denied access to Uluru, four Swedish tourists climb Clive Palmer.

A petition calling for increased ABC funding is tabled in parliament. All 1285 signatories are staffers at the broadcaster’s 15-minute-per-week Media Watch program.

Kim Beasley consults defamation lawyers after being described in print as a “former Labor leader.” A spokesman for Beasley says that his preferred phrasing is “former Labor leader who is not Mark Latham, Kevin Rudd or Julia Gillard.”

The first patient to be successfully treated under US President Barack Obama’s breakthrough universal healthcare system is an unnamed Michigan housewife whose procedure to correct a deviated septum cost her $1.2 million and all feeling in the left side of her body.

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Tim Blair's The Wall

So you thought you might like to go to the show?

To feel the warm thrill of confusion - that space cadet glow?

Tim Blair has a wonderful new nation-building (trans = wasteful and debt-inducing) project to solve the ACT's current financial worries.

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Yes We Can

And we will. Join Tim Wilson Appreciation Day on Facebook.

Having said that, I still don't think we actually have time for a long march through the institutions, and it might be better off just repealing the relevant sections of legislation that inflicted these bodies on us in the first place.

This means holding a Senate majority, of course, but until that happens, any body that can be shut down without repealing legislation should be shut down. We just can't afford these things any more.

Monday, 2 December 2013

Happy Birthday Madame Callas

Maria Callas would have turned 90 today, if she hadn't decided that being skinny was more important than being a fabulous singer ...

or perhaps not ... who knows?

I can't find a live video recording of La Callas singing one of my favourites, 'Mon coeur s'ouvre a ta voix' (Saint Saens, Samson et Dalila) so you'll have to make to with bits of Carmen in recital.

Carmen, anecdotally, was a role Callas would not play on stage because she would have to show her ankles, which she believed were fat.

And of course fat ankles are impossible. You can sing like a goddess and be beautiful and act your way out of a series of wet paper bags and just generally be incredible, but fat ankles - well.

May she - and her imaginary fat ankles - rest happily in peace